Although it is disheartening, it also gives me a sense of support - as this subject has been one that has been very difficult to handle for the past 2 years in my house. I only charged her $300 a month rent and she could eat what I put in the refrigerator. He hasn't married her yet. I'm sorry that I haven't checked in for a long time. The final nail in that relationship was ahe cheated on him with his best friend! Some first loves are destined to be "the one" while others eventually dissolve as each person involved matures. Once my son hit high school, my once sweet boy began having sex, smoking pot, and drinking. It's clear our son spends a great deal of time and energy taking care of his girlfriend and making her feel secure and content, although she is rarely content for long. This is a difficult and heartbreaking challenge. You don't have to start planning the wedding or be overly indulgent and supportive of the relationship but just warm, friendly and loving. My son started treating me bad - I became the bad guy! If your son contributes to your finances and you need his support, that is a different story. She made physical threats and destroyed any hope of acceptance again. Young lovers are blind to serious red flags in their relationships which is why mothers become so alarmed when they see what they perceive to be poor choices, but its important to refrain from being petty. my ex comes as frequently to visit our grandson as he can. She sounds like an extremely insecure person who needs to self-protect. My son learned and is so much wiser and stronger for it. I have gone out of my way and bent over backwards but yet I cannot understand her personality. My problem started when I noticed that my son was getting close to her. The easiest way to break tension is to share a laugh. Whenever I would tell my son anything, he then went back and told her about it. My son is blinded (21) and doesn't see the red flags all of our family members have seen in his life since he has met this girl and her parents. And he replied, that's okay Mom since u like her (the girl) anyway! "She might have been born poor but that made her humble unlike the other women I've met who are materialistic and vain. How about when your son is abusive to his girlfriend treats her like crap hits her slaps her does horrible things to her and he blames her. Tell him to reflect on his relationship to see if it has had positive effects on him as far as his health habits and educational/future opportunities. I just saw that she was posting on his FB page different things that a gf normally would. He will defend her to others because he is the only one who "truly understands" that there is a sweet girl underneath the tough exterior. Invasive or insensitive questions about the relationship, her personal life, or her background. And honestly, I didn't like the girl for my son! The pros and cons of social media (like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Google+, and Tumblr) on teenagers. It's a hormone thing in many people. I never forgot the first day Scarlet walked into the hotel room, she had earring coming of our her mouth, nose, and tattoos all over her back. He has allowed her to disrespect me in every sense of the word. We did this due to her poor attitude and disrespect towards me and my fiance. Not all life paths are meant to be easy and if he chooses a hard path, we'll walk it with him. Explain to him how his girlfriends behaviour is undesirable. Believe me, he will want to hang onto that. I don't know how she is feeling about me being in a serious relationship with her son, and I'm not going to confront her about the way she makes me feel, unwelcomed and sensing her jealousy.What do I do?? Youre his mom and that doesnt mean you can be his gf or wife. You have time on your side. He is occasionally using substances now and has become a smoker since dating her, she is an addicted smoker & social drug user. Now he is in the Montana Youth Challenge Academy for three more months and all he can talk about is getting her to come visit! He ended them all to his advantage. I feel about it! My 17 year old son has been dating his girlfriend for a few months now, they were also friends for about a year or so prior. The parents only work a few hours a week because they are on state insurance and if they go over hour then they lose the insurance! As parents, there can be clear signs that my sons girlfriend is manipulative. There is a social hierarchy with a code of acceptance or rejection. Use humor. My heart feels broken into a million pieces.please help me understand if Im doing something wrong. No one likes to throw away love. Another persons perspective might help him see his girlfriend for who she is. You had the right to deny access to your basement, but other than that, are you friendly or cordial to his girlfriend? What to Do When Your Adult Children Don't Like You A wiser young man would let her go and revisit that relationship if and when she became a better version of herself. What kind of life is that? But they're in love and insist that age is just a number. If he wants private time with her which is an adult privilege, he needs to own up to that adult responsibility of having his own place. "She is such a hard worker.". My girlfriend does not live with me either as she is studying at a distant college. AT THIS POINT I FEEL THAT I CAN ONLY PRAY THAT GOD WILL GET HIM AWAY FROM THIS HORRIBLE PERSON.I AM TRULY SADDENED AND DISAPPOINTED IN MY SON.PLEASE,GIVE ME SOME GOOD ADVICE. But yes, as the title says, my girlfriend doesn't love me anymore. What's something fun that you and (your son) have done lately? We have carted them about, they never offer petrol. I do not think disinviting her from holiday/family events is the answer. Ouch. My girlfriend and i we've been dating for 5 months now, I've been the kind of guy to take photos to preserve memories and all, but my girlfriend doesn't like her pictures taken by me. Help! They moved near me with her baby was about 3 months of age. Stop thinking he doesn't like you and your son. They come in and the girlfriend holds up a pregnancy test. He only said the girl didn't come to the house because he got panicked when I asked him if the girl came and if he said yes that I'm gonna get mad. I'll love you no matter what." So, if your sons girlfriend is manipulative, should you confront him? Its easy for you to recognize when another person is taking advantage of your loved one. Now he is staying gone and won't have anything to do with me. I don't know what he is going to do, and none of them will talk to me. Tell us what you love about her." He might see himself as your child when with you and with her, he is completely different. What's your favorite food? ParentalQuestions.com 2021 All rights reserved. She translates your disapproval of the relationship as a rejection of her. She's nice before and always greet and smile to me whenever we meet. She won't bath him or put him in clean clothing and seems to be extremely harsh with him. He might like that his girlfriend gets you riled up. Don't give up. Needs to argue constantly. There is so much more to this, but all I can tell you is that I think he has truly been brainwashed! Editorial post:My Son Hates His Stepfather. You might not like his decision. In turn that left us having to beat on the door asking her to please get up and leave. She is always asking my son to ask me to help them and her financially. He began to see our points, and he broke up with this girl. Telling your son that there will be other girls in his future won't help. Bit over exaggerated but let me give the context; we started dating in early to mid July of 2022 and things were looking great. You can tell him why you're upset but repeat that you love him and regret driving him out, that it was the biggest mistake of your life because he is the love of your life. I have been asking my son long before this day if he has girlfriend or if he likes someone so I would meet her to know more about her. It is too much to even write. During that time, my son was dating this new woman and she was still pregnant and also directly after the birth of her child. We were trying to give him support until he found his first professional job. Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on November 03, 2015: All great advice, Lori. If you've encouraged his free will and chosen your battles wisely, he'll more likely be receptive to your sincere input as an adult. Your sweet, humble wife will not be threatened by it and your mother's insecure ego will be soothed. Non-judgmental. Sometimes, a seemingly "nice" kid will be attracted to a "bad" girl because she represents the side of him that he wishes he could express. Explain your concerns but follow them with, I will respect your choice and love you no matter what.. You might also ask his closest friend, cousin or sibling to talk with him. I even renovated her house and spent lots of money but now there is a problem when i support my girlfriend. Watching your kid with a controlling significant other can be challenging. My son's girlfriend doesn't like me and has banned me from visiting the Three years ago she and our son told us (not asked us) that they were getting married, apparently because her parents were moving out of state. Sad thing is, he doesn't realize that he is hurting himself more than anyone else with this hopefully short-lived experimentation. Their expectations of their daughter's fianc or husband will be very different from their expectations of her boyfriend. Here, I highlight the most common problems faced by teenagers today. I bought borax and washed all the clothing in it and even did a second wash with a vinegar rinse before taking all the clothing and hanging in the sun to dry. A monkey with a banana ran up and grabbed one of my kitties, slung him under its arm and ran away. he graduated from high school with honors and he earned his Bachelor's degree in Biology in 3 years (with honors). They would argue and fight. We had a great few days together but she stayed well away, pretended she was working but our son looked unhappy so his father asked him if he was happy, his siblings have always had a solid relationship and they heard him on the phone to him, her tone was very sharp towards him. does gopuff accept ebt cards. Kimberly Atkins from Cameron, NC on May 26, 2018: This article gave me a different perspective and some things to consider on my sons relationship. Send him to a guidance counsellor or psychiatrist if the relationship poses an immediate threat to your son. I didn't critize her when she relayed through my son, how mean it was of me to overlook doing something for her to celebrate her first mother's day. The girl was sitting on the couch while my son sitting on the floor in between the girl's legs. Our son was upset and was leaving her to return to his flat, he was waiting to be allowed back to collect his things. "The key is to start from . Parents of Adult Children: Coping With Their Significant Other We are all heartbroken and only talk with him occasionally. DBS MORNING SHOW & OBITUARIES 25TH APRIL 2023 APRIL 2023 - Facebook My ex-husband and I have both assisted my son during the custody battle with financial matters. It feels bad because the person has some good or redeeming qualities and there could be some good feelings and even love there. It seems that the more I took his side or stood up for myself, I was no longer useful to either one. 8. Re-establish your bond with them. Son's girlfriend doesn't like me. The important matter to focus on is that you aren't an underage child or young adult and you don't need your mother's approval for this relationship. Still, it would be best if you were careful about how you approach the matter. The first meeting was at a hotel because at the time my son was going through a series of tests for a career choice. Many things are said that night including how the mother feels the kids should be able to make their own decisions and how her and her husband met in high school and are still together. If she hasn't visited him, that is a clear sign--and should be to your son--about her loyalty. I called sweetly to the kitten who wriggled out of the monkey's arms and ran back to me. Here is my advice: For the time being, don't fight against this girl or this relationship. The scary part is - now that he is doing well and fully supporting her - it is gonna be 10 times harder to get rid of her.