FoxieLadie is Things like breakups or losing a loved one can lead to serious feelings, especially when you add alcohol to the mix. Any other response veers into coercion territory. Having sex with a person when they are too drunk to consent has a name: Alcohol facilitated rape and sexual assault and it is against the law. If it was just a quick peck on the lips, thats not as big of a deal as if it was an hours-long makeout session. It doesn't have to be physical, like in verbal abuse. (I think thats what she said). I identify as demiromantic & wouldn't be able to kiss anyone unless a strong bond has been built first. And I really think you should move on from this guy. It only matters what your romantic partner thinks and how it makes them feel. Whats the difference between coercion and consent? But if youre in a committed relationship and you accidentally drunk kiss someone else, then you might have a bigger problem on your hands. They might text you constantly, begging for a chance, or show up at . Drunk Kiss Dilemma: So You Drunk Kissed Someone Now What?! You dont have to treat it like such a big deal. My husband always encouraged me to pursue music, and, when I told him that this guy wanted to give me advanced piano lessons, my husband was in favor of this. In my time I've kissed hundreds of guys (some weird ones too) but would never have dreamt of having sex with any of them. You shouldn't have been so drunk that you let this happen. I kissed another guy while drunk. He doesn't seem to do much to stop the threats, his whole family hates you, your friend is an ****, and if I were you I would leave because I am insulted for you that you have such spoiled brats in your life. Its tough to do that in a single evening or from just meeting someone. When people use their emotions deliberately to try and convince you to do what they want, thats coercion. I believe that its a good thing to fess up when kissing someone you care about when you drank too much could threaten your existing relationship. In most cases, its up to you to decipher the meaning of the kiss on your own, and it often comes down to what you want it to mean. By entering this site you declare Think about it like this, the guy who you kissed took advantage of the fact you were drunk! Personally, I think even innocently returning a kiss is cheating, although Id probably keep it to myself! Please help I just hate my life now! Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Its hard to know what to say, especially if youre fuzzy about what happened. She said this is how it starts. I love your stories, Foxie. If the kiss didnt involve the tongue, sexual touching, or laying horizontal, maybe its not as bad as if it was. To me kissing is not that important. How to get over a crush on your friend, Are you a user? Here are some things to consider if you want to figure out whether a drunk kiss is cheating. I have to admit that by kissing this guy whom I liked, I did cheat on my husband. Sexual trauma can happen in many ways, and it doesnt always involve physical force. If your partner kissed someone else when they were drunk most people would be pissed. This reason is particularly common with men who are physically attracted to someone but arent brave enough to make their move when theyre sober. A number of years ago, while I was still married to my late husband, I befriended a guy who was an ace pianist. Depending on who your drunk kiss was with, dealing with it will be quite different. Okay. Sexual Coercion vs. Consent: 19 Scenarios to Consider - Healthline The moment feelings are involved then youve cheated. You probably remember where you were at the time, who . Until then, forgive him and move on. I kissed another guy when drunk but can't remember?! Im a guy and i had sex with my guy bestfriend drunk. Next time learn to limit alcohol if you can't control yourself after drinking. If you like the person who gave you the kiss, youll want it to be an indicator of their affection towards you. Take note, though, if they respectfully dial it back when you say no or keep pressuring you instead. Drunk kisses would primarily mean that the kisser has always found you attractive. It is possible to keep a woman faithful to you when in a long distance relationship, but if she . You dont want to lead on an innocent person who likes you or give them the wrong idea. [Read:How to express your feelings and get your point across the right way]. My husband wasnt home at the time. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. Often, you dont need to be that drunk for this kiss to happen. This is especially true if they secretly have romantic feelings for you and have been hoping that you one day reciprocate those feelings. Ended it because she drunk kissed another guy. Reddit, would you consider a drunken kiss as cheating? Sex is the only thing to be very choosy about, kissing is just trivial in my book. Neither scenario is an excuse for doing it. Photo by Oscar Chevillard on Unsplash. Alcohol was a factor, but all it did was bring to the surface the feelings that were already there. If you only consent because you want the other person to stop pressuring or threatening you, you didnt really consent. Answer (1 of 8): No. Even my partners had trouble understanding the notion. The good news is that you can remedy anything with top-notch communication. Either way, a rebound drunk kiss is not too shocking. But, it still creates awkwardness. While the drunken kiss may not have meant anything to you, you'll have a hard time explaining that to your partner or spouse. I know I cheated for sure, and thats why I had to confess to my husband that I did it. And the problem here is that one kiss can lead you right back to your old habits. What if youre not really interested in them and are nervous about letting them down? If we could just have sex, Im sure wed both feel so much better., Cant wait until youre feeling better., Ill do the dishes if that means some sexy time later., Ive been feeling so lonely. A guilty kiss involves kissing a specific person while drunk who either has a crush on you or whom you have a crush on, and then using your drunken state as an excuse for having kissed that person. I could list so many reasons why, but instead Ill just list a few. They won't have even a hint that you meant to do that. If you happen to be on the receiving end of the kiss, it can cause a ton of conflicting feelings. If you or your partner were the ones who initiated the kiss, thats a little worse than if it were the other person. This erotic kiss involves knowing how to use your tongue and turns the heat up on your relationship ten-fold. I reassured my husband that this would never happen again and that I was sorry. Sorry OP. If youre experiencing ongoing coercion from a partner you want to maintain a relationship with, start by having a talk with them. Sadly, many people who have a crush on someone else purposely get drunk or get the other person drunk in order to find out if they have any chemistry with each other, and they temporarily forget about the fact that they are already in a relationship with another person. I was devastated. TLDR: girls at my high school lunch table had a conversations about how its not cheating if you kiss someone while youre drunk and Id like outside opinions. Apparently I took advantage of drunk girls? There is a reason you broke up. But if its between two people who have lingering feelings for each other or a huge crush then thats a different story. Its possible that alcohol has increased their sexual appetite, they spotted you across the dance floor and find you attractive, and theyre simply looking for a quick hookup. Ill bet you got drunk on purpose because you wanted to kiss him/her.. So if you say, Hang on, Im not feeling so good about this after all, or Lets take a break, your partner needs to respect that and stop, immediately. What would you do if you can't remember kissing someone else but know it happened and you totally regretted it and would never do it again but your partner wouldn't trust you again and their friends wanted to hurt you??? Can you say nothing and act like it never happened? Chances are they will find out from someone else, and it is always best to hear it from you. Just because someone thinks youre hot or attractive, however, doesnt mean they have deeper feelings for you or want to make a stronger connection. I know you're mortified now, but as the years parade by and this incident is further back in your rear view mirror, take comfort. The definition of cheating is doing anything emotionally, physically, or sexually with another person other than your partner. And she mentioned that if you kissed someone else when youre drunk you dont really have to tell your partner because its not cheating. Kissing is the key to love . Okay, lets get back to the scenario where you are in a committed relationship but you drunk kiss someone else or your partner does it. New research shows how your personality is reflected in your first kiss. Want to head back to my place? They ask. 2023 predicted a level papers bio chem and maths. They might take you to dinner at a fancy restaurant, send you flowers at work, or give you expensive gifts, all with the expectation that youll reward their generosity with physical intimacy. It follows, then, that coerced sex (when it involves penetration) would count as rape, even if the other person didnt use physical force or violence. Yes it is. I think your just another female using your man until a better option comes along your husband should dump you because one of these days your going dump him if he doesnt. Like we said before, drunk kisses arent always fun and games. So you had a few drinks in you and finally went for it with the person youve been crushing on? You only kiss someone that you either helped kill or wanted to die or is thankful they're dead. You have no right to unburden your conscience at the expense of your partners happiness. The Surprising Importance of the First Kiss | Psychology Today People push alcohol on you: You push the 3rd/ glass away. Even if you dont feel comfortable discussing whats going on, having someone to talk to (or better yet, come by for a visit) can help you feel safer and less alone. If they wont drop the issue, its a good idea to leave or call a trusted friend or family member. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship and learn to be loyal and loving]. If you drink, there is a good chance youve shared a drunk kiss with someone at some point. Master Frenching and you'll definitely please your kissing partner. he said no. If youre on the receiving end of a drunk kiss from someone who is intoxicated, it can be very confusing. My piano instructor came over once a week, usually on a Saturday when my husband was home. So I ****** off a scammer. Do Drunk Kisses Mean Anything - UpThirst This is especially possible if you have a pre-existing relationship with the person and spend a decent amount of time with them. You did something that you shouldn't have done, but his reaction to it suggests that he doesn't care about you nearly as much as you care about him. Well, Missy, I hope your boyfriend is perfect. Perhaps they say, Oh, I understand or Thats fine but their body language tells a different story. More than just a drunken snog on the dance floor (not that, that would even be ok) but it was a proper, could have gone somewhere kiss. We have to keep going., Im so frustrated and stressed, I need this., I said I dont want to have sex. I calmly told him that I wasnt in love with him, but I did feel some attraction and that I accepted the liquor and the kiss because I was curious to find out if there was anything between us. In my opinion, being drunk, (Ive never been drunk before), makes you more yourself. My Girlfriend Kissed Another Guy: What Should I Do Now? It's only like 3 or 4 minutes away!". I thanked him for telling me this and we didnt speak to one another for years. The complete damage control guide]. Kissed someone on vakation while drunk, cheating or not? Pugh B, et al. I cheated? Drunk kiss on a night out? | Mumsnet But, at the end of the night, you went your separate ways without exchanging numbers or maybe even names. If you share a drunk kiss with an ex, it is best to let them know it was just the alcohol pushing you towards what was familiar and didnt mean anything more. Maybe she was experimenting or it was something shed thought about and wanted to see what it felt like. It may be a factor in females reporting more sexual desire when drinking. When my husband came home, he could tell right away that I had been drinking. This male sex hormone plays a role in sexual desire. Shes said thats it. Completely forgot and now I want to tell my boyfriend. So many arguments begin because our partners got drunk and kissed someone else while they were under the influence of alcohol. Im guessing that theres a good chance you would have gone all the way if the piano teacher had gone for it. If you dont really want to have sex but agree because you feel obligated or dont want the other person to get mad, you arent consenting voluntarily.